During the last year, I’ve been reading different books, listening to new podcasts and spending more time in prayer than ever before. In this time of reflection and exploration, I’ve decided there is no such thing as coincidence. When a great opportunity falls into my lap, when I meet someone who I feel like I’ve known for years, when the guy at the coffee shop doesn’t charge me for a refill — these were all things I was meant to notice and appreciate.
For example, this morning at the gym there happened to be a 2002 issue of Smithsonian featuring my very favorite artist, Frida Kahlo. It was on the bench where I place my bag everyday as though the universe was just leaving me a little gift. Happy Friday! Magazines and other items occasionally pop up on this bench as freebies but rarely catch my interest. Today was my day to reap the harvest. Frida and I had a lovely breakfast.
My new job, also, could not have come at a better time or seemingly be a better fit. I feel like climbing on the roof and screaming, “Thank you!” to the sky. Thank you for giving me a profession that is so challenging, that forces me to learn and be my very best. Thank you for giving me back my commuting time so I can have breakfast with Frida instead of the hour of knuckle-gripping freeway time that had grown routine. Thank you for putting me here, now. I learned just the right amount from the previous job to feel steady enough, but not quite enough to be confident. This is a great thing; with too much confidence, I often find myself being lazy.

For the last few months I’ve been trying to figure out how I can see a nutritionist with my insurance plan. With changing insurance, it’s been tricky and I haven’t been able to make it happen. I’ve inquired at the gym about seeing someone and talked to a friend who is a registered dietitian. I love learning about health and figured meeting with a nutritionist would give me a better idea if my diet is balanced and what I can do to improve. Out of the blue this week I received and email from a colleague I know socially who happens to be a nutritionist. Would I like to be one of her new clients? She had no idea I’d been looking in to this. This morning we’ll meet and I don’t even have to worry about a co-pay. She’s building her practice and the price is more than affordable.
Again, thank you!

Being intentional with what I want out of my day is providing amazing results. Creating a list of daily endeavors and reminding myself that action spurs progress is bringing more happiness into my life than I could have imagined. Happy Friday, friends. Happy Friday indeed.

~k

P.S. Do you have any podcasts you regularly listen to that you find interesting, helpful and thought-provoking? I’d love to hear about them.

MoziEsme’s mama posted a lovely quote this week about humility, and how faith guides us to remember to praise God first and be uncomfortable with other applause. Better yet, to redirect personal praise toward God, remembering that without faith, without His direction, we are simply lost. This is something that is regularly in the back of my mind. I think being able to accept praise gracefully is important, especially so for women in the workplace and more so when it comes to complimenting a woman’s appearance. How often do you hear a friend deflect your kind words with, “Oh no, I am so fat.” Or “Eh? This old dress? It was so cheap!” Learning to accept praise can be a challenge.
Then again, acceptance of praise and boasting about your own accomplishments are two entirely different things. The one aspect I want to change about this journal is the egotistical tone. I fear I am perceived as quite conceited and I can see why.
Look what I made!
Look what I cooked!
Look where I traveled!
ME ME ME!

Yikes. I need to take a step back and spend time reflecting on what fuels my desire to feed this blog, which ultimately strokes my ego. Ideally, I would love to see it make a turn toward something much more meaningful.

In the meantime, an inspiring quote from MoziEsme’s Mama:
A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

We are powerful beyond nature.
~K

One of the many reasons I’m looking forward to my new job is the fresh start — the chance to set the pace for an organization, work hard, dig in my heels and really get to know a new arm of public health. I am fighting the feeling of being overwhelmed by this new challenge and am instead trying to focus on the happiness I find in learning, dedicating myself to a cause and feeling like my work matters.

One of the happiest times of my life was in college when I was running the student newspaper. I was taking a ridiculous course load and easily putting in 30-40 hours a week at the newspaper. Essentially I lived in the Com building and at one point even had my own key so I could come and go as I wanted. The joy came from feeling so dedicated to doing my very best. I felt like the newspaper that printed each week was a direct result of my leadership and the amount of effort I was or was not willing to put into the project. There were weeks when it was great and there were weeks when glaring typos made the front page headlines. Still, I loved being in the trenches and two of my closest college friends were right there digging next to me. I think the fact the three of us struggled together to make this newspaper work each week is part of the reason we are such good friends today.

I hope to find and create that type of joy in my new duties. In the meantime, I’m trying to tidy up things at my current desk and leave gracefully. This job has been very good to me during the last five years and I will remember my time here fondly.

New job, new energy, new resolve. I ran across this quote the other day that pumped up my spirits:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.
Watch your actions, they become your habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character.
It will become your destiny.”
— Rabbi Hillel

I’m watching my habits and making some important changes. I find focus is an all or nothing game. When I’m in the zone, I’m eating healthy, spending money wisely, spending time in prayer and keeping God first.

But oh, how I wish these things were routine and not something I had push myself to accomplish each day. In the meantime, I’m celebrating the little victories and learning from my elders.

~K

* A few of my purchases from my summer travels: Nicaraguan pine basket, capulanas from Malawi and Mozambique, elephant salad tongs from Mozambique, Mozambican nativity, stone angel from Nicaragua, mortar and pestle from Moz.

This sweet woman was one of many dazed hens at the central hospital in Jinotega. She’d just given birth to twin girls. Most of the women in the cramped postpartum room had delivered twins. Women typically deliver at home with a midwife. Our midwives are trained to send breach and multiple birth pregnancies to the hospital to hopefully ensure safe delivery for both mother and child(ren). She was touched by the gift of a Peace t-shirt for each sweet girl and I had some knit beanies from a church group too. I took Polaroids of each mother with their new babies and they were so happy to have a bit of company in the otherwise stark, hot room.

One of many sweet children in a village where we worked.

Speaking of, how cute is this girl? Her little German dress had me confused, but we bonded over a break in the cool shade and a pack of gum I found in my backpack.

The sweet girl’s mom and grandma.

We also have a volunteer dental program we support. We took lots of toothbrushes and other supplies to be distributed. Unfortunately most of the work is extractions because people don’t see dentists unless they are in lots of pain.

Yikes.

She had two teeth extracted. One man had seven teeth removed. Ouch.

My godson, Victor Abel. Now that he is 5, he understands that when his Madrina comes to town, it means presents. He was very happy to have crayons and new clothes. I have a Santa Claus patina to my godmothership because I’m never there and when I do swing through town, my bags are laden with gifts for him and his siblings.

But seriously, how cute is he? Obviously, he gets his great fashion sense from his fairy American godmother.

~K

I spent yesterday morning with my friend’s three-year-old daughter on my lap, eating a pancake breakfast leisurely in the sun, feeding the birds our leftover crumbs. It was such a nice, peaceful way to start the day and it certainly made me wish I had more three-day weekends on the calendar and more three-year-olds in my daily routine.
I didn’t think twice about handing her bread to throw to the birds. We’d eaten plenty and it would have otherwise gone in the trash. We sat there, watching the finches try to fly away with chunks that were way too big for their tiny bodies. Eventually a few pigeons and crows showed up to clean up the feast and help their smaller friends.
This morning I woke up to an NPR news story about hunger in Afghanistan. Bread prices are soaring and there isn’t enough naan to go around. My heart broke as I listened to a father talk about splitting the four pieces of bread he could buy each day to feed his family of six.
I’d fed more to pigeons just yesterday.
I’m leaving Saturday for Nicaragua and then off to Africa and frankly the travel couldn’t come soon enough. I’m prickly and ready to have my spirits renewed with travel. I know the theme around here lately has been very heavy-handed; I’ve been having a harder time than normal understanding global inequities and my mood has soured. I couldn’t help but look at the sample bread basket at the coffee shop this morning, full of free slices of whole wheat, nutritious bread, and think of that Afghani father. I know eating less in Tempe, Arizona may have little change on the wheat prices on the other side of the earth, but I am sure that continuing to consume at my typical American-pace isn’t helping matters. I took my cup of coffee and sat down in tears to think. How do we even things out? How do we make sure everyone gets enough food? I’m not talking about Hummers or Plasma TVs or diamond engagement rings. Just food. How do we, as a specie, figure this out?
I don’t have the answers, but I’m working on them. In the meantime, sorry pigeons — no more bread for you.

~K

Tonight I added the Valley Interfaith Project rally at Pilgrim Rest Church in downtown Phoenix. Crammed in the pews with 1,000 other folk of all faiths, we listened as religious and political leaders addressed Arizona’s immigration policy. Mayor Gordon spoke to Sheriff Joe’s illegal behavior. Two community leaders gave a pretty funny presentation about Russell Pearce — awarded human rights enemy #1 in the state. (He wants to prevent citizenship for children born to parents who are not citizens. The dude needs a hug. And a girlfriend. He’s obviously pretty miserable.) We stood, cheered, prayed and rallied in unison: the faith community of Phoenix wants improved immigration policies and human rights for all.
It was by far the coolest community event I’ve ever attended. I can’t wait to become more involved with this group.
Even though my family has moved, Phoenix really is my hood. I talk about moving away, but I do love it here, as a member of this big, crazy stuccoed city (even if we have too many golf courses and shopping malls.)

~K

Happy Easter friends!

~K

One of the many reasons I love Holy Week, Spring and Easter is that it is a time to wipe the slate clean and start over. I’m taking an internal inventory this week, coming up with some new life plans and trying to take quiet time to truly listen to my faith and be in conversation with God. I feel like these Mexican poppies — full of life, not quite yet open, uncertain of what lies ahead but willing to turn my face to the sun with faith that it will all work out for the best.

Happy first day of Spring to all,
Kelli

I drove to Nogales, Arizona yesterday to work for the day. Although the health project I was there to observe is on both sides of the border, I wasn’t able to cross to Mexico because I forgot my passport. (Such a consummate professional.) Regardless, we wouldn’t have been able to cross because the lines each direction for those walking was three hours and longer if you were going by car. I didn’t have six hours total to observe, much less just that for a silly queue. Needless to say these new passport-for-Mexico-travel rules are slow-going in the effective implementation department. I can only imagine how businesses on both sides of the border are hurting with decreased traffic.
Instead, I spent my time visiting with our health project workers and catching up with the progress we are making in these poor communities. It was an exceptionally fulfilling day professionally.

On the way home, I stopped at the Mission of Tumacacori and the Mission of San Xavier del Bac. First up, San Xavier:

This church is everything you’d imagine a Spanish cathedral in the middle of the Arizona desert on an Indian reservation to be. It is starkly beautiful, ornate and mind boggling. It is surrounded by poverty you cannot imagine being “American.” Nonetheless, it is a very pretty building and I am glad we stopped. It was a great place to sit down for a few minutes, collect my thoughts from the day and refuel spiritually during Holy Week.

~K