AfricanKelli

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There is a life I want to lead, a person I want to be, and there is reality. The two seem to be growing farther apart, which has my inner perfectionist freaking out and ripping things off the walls. So to speak.

Part of this blue weather can be explained on my recent dose of Phoenix sun. In Arizona, my calendar is full. I’m surrounded by friends who love me enough to shake me when I’m being ridiculous. And of course this time of year, the weather was glorious. Nelson pranced around the park as if to say, “DUDE! NO SNOW!”

He’s eloquent that way.

This holiday was miserable for my family. Truly, painfully miserable. My grandparents aren’t doing well and the stress of their on-going health issues made my parents sorrowful and despondent. Seeing my dad this sad shakes me. Knowing there isn’t a damn thing I can do fills me with useless, bitter rage. My mom’s sadness comes out as frustration. Pair all of this heavy emotion with a freak winter storm that kept my parents holed up in a cheap motel en route to Tucson, delaying their arrival by more than a day, and you can imagine how fun Santa’s arrival was.

The person I want to be would have wrapped my arms around my parents and told them how very sorry I am they are at this point in life. That watching their parents age and be sick must be so hard. That their sadness was my sadness and it was a pity our time together — one of two times a year we typically see each other — would not be ruined by the circumstances.

The person I am moped and played martyr. Once again, the only grandchild to show up for the holiday for either set of grandparents. Once again, the responsible one. Once again, the one who doesn’t run away from the sorrow of the situation, but doesn’t know how to deal with it anymore than anyone else. Because I’m not unbiased. I too am watching those I love slowly, painfully decline. I don’t know how to comfort my parents any more than I know how to help myself.

I do know the ways I have been trying to cope aren’t working. There is much to change in 2012.

~k

2011 will always be known as the year of Willie Nelson Mandela. Granted, there were a few other monsters crossed off the bucket list, but none of those wake me up each morning with a smile and a wagging pom pom tail screaming, “TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY EVER! CAN I GO OUTSIDE NOW?”

A few of my favorite photos from the year, including too many of the prized pup:

A year that begins in Africa can be nothing short of magical; 2011 didn’t disappoint.

Holy crikes. That’s how you do a year right. Thank you 2011! (I hear your younger sister 2012 brings great promise.)

~K

Is it weird I made one sock monkey for Christmas — and fairly haphazardly at that, considering my “first” of any sewing project is bound to be wonky — and it made me want to make one for each of my friends, only customized?

Imagine tiny outfits and props. Embroidered details. Monograms.

Then again, who wouldn’t want a monkey custom made for them?

~K

I traveled early to Phoenix for the holidays to see Kim graduate from nursing school. And the girl didn’t disappoint. In fact, she was one of a few in her class honored, and the only one to receive a leadership award.

Needless to say, her fan club went bananas crazy with pride, including ringing a cowbell. She had rows of people screaming like mad for her and every yelp was well deserved.

Because if you are going to have a nurse in the family, let it be a super smart one who can lead!

And then, because this is Adam and Kim, after way too much pizza and libations — we bowled:

Yep. She’s even gorgeous bowling. Smart and gorgeous. I know. 

So damn proud of her!

~K

Nelson wanted to get into the spirit this year, whipping up some easy dog cookies for his friends in the neighborhood:

His peanut butter dog treat recipe was super simple to bake.

He even stamped them with a tiny paw stamp — although it isn’t so easy to see.

I’m pretty sure his friends next door would have preferred tiny barrels of bourbon in this chilly weather. Next year.

When he isn’t chasing squirrels (who could just hibernate already. Please.), sniffing butts at the park, or being attacked by mean dogs with stupid owners, he’s watching me run around like a Christmas crafting maniac baking.

~K