Nesting movie for myself —> Casablanca.

I’m an atheist BUT I believe that the people you love never really leave you. They are always there in memory. They have helped to guide you in life. They may even have helped you to become the person you are right now. The little things they shared with you or taught you, they rubbed off on you. You will always carry them with you.

I find that it’s a far better thing to put faith in myself rather than faith in something else. I have a better measure of my strengths and weaknesses, and because I’m ultimately responsible for my own actions, I think more about the consequences of what I do. There is no-one else to blame or use as a scapegoat when things don’t go well.

This universe is an amazing and incredible place, and I think that belief in religion ignores and oversimplifies the beauty of it. That Earth is hospitable to life is a phenomenal, freakish thing, and that the amazing diversity of life that has evolved on this planet is just astonishing. I’m constantly amazed at the way life creates itself.

When religious people blow this life off as a test for the “eternal life” in “paradise” that is apparently to follow, I get internally furious. This is it. This is all we’ve got, so make the most of it. I don’t believe in the soul, I don’t believe in heaven. When we die, our molecules break back down into the earth to feed some other life. And that the fact that life is a series of chemical reactions doesn’t make it any less meaningful. It’s very important to make our own meaning.

To put my inner geek (well, admittedly, it’s not so inner) on show, there’s a line in an episode of ‘Angel’ that goes something like, “If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.” And that sentiment is something I live by. If my life is essentially meaningless, then the life and meaning I make for myself and others is the most incredible and important thing in the world.

I’ve had quite a bit of loss occur recently as well. A family member died from motor neurone disease a few weeks ago, and a week later one of my dogs died suddenly. While it may be comforting to think that my aunt and my beautiful, beautiful dog have gone onto a life somewhere else, I just can’t kid myself. I know that they are gone. Finished. Never coming back. And that just makes the time that they had more special, not less.

For me too, time in prayer is important. I think prayer works. I find that when I pray about a problem I get the feeling of “getting it off my chest” to God. I also try to add a little “thanks for ______” when I pray as well.

This school year (for my kids), I started saying no to things I could not commit fully to (or that I’d have to run around like a crazy person to complete). I only say yes when I can make time and my heart is in the right place. I often say, “I’ll get back to ya.” Down time is so important to schedule, too.

I look forward to your new posts. I always get something from them…interesting or fulfilling or though-provoking or funny…or inspiring!

Just wanted to say I was sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. From everything you said, she seemed like she was a beautiful person and you were fortunate to have known her. It’s good that you have realized it’s time to take care of yourself. Enjoy your quiet sewing day, you’ll be all the better for it.

Larissa

Good for you for listening to your own needs, and stopping to take care of yourself. I had ahard tim,e learning to say no. Truthfully, when someome called and wanted me to commit, I would say let me check the calendar, and takle that time to stop and thinnk about it instead of just jumping in and saying yes. Then I would returen to the phone and find I could say no, not this time. It was diffiocult at first on many levels, but it is something I do not feel guilty or bad about anymore. If I don;t take care of me, who will? Enjoy your week with yourself!

Love the frenchy bag. I met Amy Butler the other night, and she’s super sweet.