AfricanKelli

Patience, said Rodin, is also a form of action.

Thank you, to whomever sent this colorful bouquet of encouragement and love. You must know me well — the simplicity of the flowers and vase, the sunflower (a Ya Ya staple) and the white roses are just right. My smile today reflects your kindness.

~K

My passport is up for renewal. In the last 10 years I’ve managed to travel to:

Israel, Palestine, Nicaragua, the Philippines, Mexico, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, Mozambique, South Africa, Cameroon, Malawi, Costa Rica, Ireland, England and the Bahamas. Most of these adventures have been through college scholarships, volunteering, work and good fortune. I’m exceptionally lucky when it comes to finding great international adventure with little to no budget.

This passport is one of my favorite things. My parents don’t travel much and as a kid, when I read of foreign lands, I had no idea how I’d ever get there.  While I may not have a house full of nice furniture, or a car without dings, I’ve got this little book that reminds me of all the amazing people I’ve met, the cultures I’ve inhaled, the food, spirit, scent and joy of far away lands I’ve celebrated.

Next on the list: France, New Zealand, Australia, Fiji, Italy, Switzerland, Zimbabwe, Rwanda and Egypt.  I’d also very much like to go back to Stellenbosch.

My wanderlust is not entirely gone, but it is very nice now to be enjoying a garden and other things that require me to be in one place for more than a few months.

~K

Today starts the second half of 2009 and I’ve got big plans. New month, new projects, new challenges, new joys.

Last night I made risotto for the first time. It was wonderful, even if Matt called it “slimy rice.” He loved it too. I’ve now conquered the school of grains at epicurean school, with risotto serving as the thesis. I passed.

I still think if given the chance to start over career wise, I’d go to culinary school and become a baker. Maybe I’d own a small bed and breakfast or a winery. I love cooking for others and the joy of learning new things in the kitchen never wavers. This weekend I’m going to try red velvet cake from scratch, perhaps topped with cream cheese frosting and fresh blueberries for a 4th of July treat. I am looking forward to pulling out my cookbooks, finding a clean apron and digging in. Plus, it has a theme, and you know me and themes. If there is a way I can come in costume or celebrate the mundane to make everyone else laugh, I’ll find a way.

There are new art supplies too. Soft ballerina flannel that will soon be transformed into a quilted surprise. And there is something about variegated yarn that makes my heart skip a bit. The warm beautiful colors flowing from one shade to another — it’s like a sunset in your hands. I cast on a new project last night, finding a meditative state in the repetition.

Photos by Amanda Nemec

And finally — please stop worrying about me. I am embarrassed now to have shared the way I have here; I do appreciate the support and your kind words but I don’t handle being a source of pity. Trust me when I say, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to feel awful for me. My life is pretty damn good.

So, thank you. While I’m really not outside acting like a mentally handicapped cheerleader this week, I will again soon. My spirit is here, in check and I’m fine. I once was and will so again be a giant, goofy dork who loves nothing more than to make fun of herself.

Cheer on,

Kelli

June community dinner: vegetable spring rolls, coconut rice, garlic chicken peanut pasta, lime sorbet, wine, beer, friends and the occasional glass of milk to cut the heat. Apparently, I’m a fan of the spice.

~K

There are dos and don’ts of surviving a breakup with any sort of dignity and grace. As a girl not exactly known for having a stiff upper lip or any ability whatsoever to hide my emotions, it’s good to write these down. I hope I never have to go through anything like this again, but if I do, this will be a good reminder of how to handle my heart.

Do:

1. Rally the troops. Get your friends and family around you as soon as possible. You do not have to talk about every single detail. In fact, this may come back to haunt you. Instead, allow yourself to be as vulnerable as necessary. Yesterday I sat with my head in a friend’s lap for an hour while she listened to me sob. It helped.

2. Take the high road as far as you can. Once I love someone, it seems no matter what I always will. It’s okay to tell him this in lieu of yet again reviewing the wrong-doings.

3. Reach out and thank those who are helping you get through this. Fabulous break-up stationery makes it a bit easier.

4. Remember it is okay to be angry and disappointed. There doesn’t have to be  a silver lining to everything. You don’t have to accept the platitudes.

5. Pray. Visit churches, take yoga, go for long walks — do whatever you need to do to reconnect with your extraordinary faith.

6. When all else fails, shop. You won’t be happy with the credit bill later, but your new purse today feels damn good.

Don’ts:

1. Don’t cry into your Blackberry. Water + electronics = disaster and a new big purchase.

2. Don’t lash out and act like a child. You’ll very quickly regret behaving poorly, calling names, sharing intimate details others did not need to know. Remember leaving with your dignity is more important than leaving feeling “right.”

3. Don’t be afraid to sincerely apologize if you do lash out and say hateful things.

4. Don’t forget to eat. Things go down hill quickly if you do and well-reasoned thought, sleep and sanity are the next to fall away.

5. Don’t be angry with tough love. When friends want to shake you by the shoulders, they mean well. Don’t let their words sting. They have the right intention.

6. Don’t beat yourself up. Shitty things happen to good people every single day. There is no point in trying to understand why this happened; but it did and while it sucks today, it will suck a little less tomorrow.

~K